For many IVF clinics, the most common reason for a couple to be doing IVF is because of male factor infertility. You can ask your clinic if you’re curious, but regardless, if you’re reading this it might be because you’re in that position or you want to support someone in that position.
You’re also reading an article written by someone who has experienced male factor infertility. With my partner, we have male factor infertility.
If you’re curious to know more about mine and my partner’s personal experience, especially from a man’s perspective, listen to this CBC’s podcast Now or Never by Ify Chiwetelu and Trevor Dineen, called ‘What’s up with my hormones?’. Skip to 38 minutes in if you only want to just listen to the male factor infertility part.
More about our journey with male factor infertility
We fit the most common definition of male factor infertility, when you have a male partner and a female partner, like Emanuel and me, can’t get pregnancy after trying consistently month after month and once the 12month month doesn’t yield a pregnancy, that’s when we were slapped with an infertility diagnosis. Because we did a sperm analysis that resulted in severe poor quality, we were hit with the male factor infertility label.
Our next step we created for ourselves was to understand and look into all of the professionals who might be able to help improve our fertility.
Meanwhile, each month I still continued to take pregnancy tests, pleading them to turn up with a double line.
“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a pregnancy test strip, begging for you to come up positive.”
Then we saw a urologist and redid the sperm analysis.
IVF was the recommendation. That’s not always the case, but it was for us. I was terrified.
You both deserve support
You’re not alone if you’ve been there and please reach out if you want to feel less isolated in the process, whether you’re the sperm provider or the partner. We’ve each been there. I’ve had many couples and individual men find what they need through my fertility coaching program.
Resources for Him
If you want more to digest, there’s this book, Swimming Aimlessly: One Man’s Journey Through Infertility and What We Can All Learn From It, by Jon Waldman. This podcast interview gives you a preview.
In Canada there’s Fertility Matter’s Canada Men’s support group (free)
In the US, there’s Resolve’s Men and Infertility support groups (for a fee)
5 Responses
Hey Laura, hilarious timing with the just a girl, standing in front of a pregnancy test strip line! Relatable on so many levels, though mostly the terrified part after the IVF recommendation. My only contribution to the journey has been the skillful operation of the cryogenic storage unit for the tests, but thanks for confirming Im definitely not alone in *that* arena! Keep up the great work, your fertility coach! 🤷♀️💡
Hey Laura! Your article is spot on – being told male factor felt like getting a bad sports team draft pick notification! But honestly, the endless pregnancy tests? *Chefs kiss* – weve all been that desperate optimist staring at a strip. And yes, the terror of IVF recommendations is real! Kudos for shedding light on this often-ignored side. Men, dont feel isolated – were all in this weird, hilarious journey together, testing things left and right! Keep the humor (and the essential advice) coming!football bros unblocked
hilarious! Sounds like Emanuels got more to worry about than just finding a parking spot these days! But seriously, great article, very relatable for anyone ttc. The standing in front of the test strip on bended knee bit had me in stitches (and teary-eyed). Wishing Emanuel and all the sperm providers out there the best of luck – may the positive pregnancy test finally appear like a long-awaited bus on a sunny day! Keep sharing these stories, very helpful and hopeful.deltarune final prophecy
Hey Laura, great read! Seriously, the girl begging the pregnancy test line had me laughing, so hard I almost spilled my coffee. But seriously, that fear of IVF – Youre not alone is the real MVP. High five to all the sperm providers and partners out there navigating this wild ride! Keep sharing the hilarious (and sometimes heartbreaking) truths. Were all in this fertility boat together, whether were sailing solo or co-piloting!quay random
Hey Laura! Your article had me both laughing and crying, mostly because I recognized every single stage! That bending knee before the test is an Olympic sport for us ttc couples! And yeah, hearing male factor felt like my partner got drafted to the worst team ever. But kudos for sharing the terror of the IVF call – you really put men on notice (in the best way possible)! Great reminder that were all in this weird, hopeful, test-stripping journey together. Keep the humor coming, its a lifeline! 🤷♀️💡football bros