If you’re overwhelmed on your fertility journey, I believe you. There’s probably a lot pulling you in different directions. You legitimately have a lot of responsibilities and too much to do and think about. It might be because of fertility treatment, secondary infertility responsibilities, recurrent loss, egg freezing, or pregnancy. You’re drowning in your to-do list and responsibilities.
You know you’re overwhelmed because you feel it. Your body has told you. It probably isn’t a pleasant sensation. Here we are. One way to get through this is to first acknowledge this. Often people say they’re overwhelmed when they’re really stressed or anxious, but overwhelm is when you’ve reached your max and can barely function. Next, consider these 3 steps below. It’s about doing less. I’m sharing these steps with the utmost compassion for what you’re going through.
Deleting things and doing less can be hard to do. It’s easier said than done. It can bring anxiousness but it is the answer if you’re sincerely overwhelmed.
What to do when you’re overwhelmed on your fertility journey
1. Stop and make time to do nothing. When you’re overwhelmed you need to catch up by doing nothing. Stare at a wall. Just be. If it’s your own limiting belief or something internal that’s stopping you from doing nothing or you really believe you don’t have the time, give me a call or book a call with another professional to work on this together. You are worth finding the time. Answer this too:
If you stop doing ________, what will you be able to enjoy because you’re less overwhelmed?
2. Take things off your to-do list. This is the practical way to make time to do nothing and catch up. Here are 3 ways to do this.
- Give some things on your to-do list to someone else. This is about asking for help. It might not come naturally to you, but often becomes necessary on your fertility journey. You could outsource and pay for help if you need to (take-out meals, get a cleaner etc.), get a friend or neighbour to help (meal share, pick up groceries etc.), have a co-worker take over a work project or portfolio, or ask friends, people in your religious community or family to lend a hand. People like helping. It makes them feel good and like they serve a purpose in life. You’ll make them feel good! Usually it’s our own curious mind or beliefs we carry about ourselves that get in the way of asking. It might be that you’re someone who helps others and it’s a foreign thought to be the one doing the asking. It’s time for a change, hon. You come first.
- Postpone things until later. This could be pushing back a deadline at work, having your out-of-town guest defer their trip until later, postponing that event or appointment, or meeting that friend another day.
- Get rid of things all together. If they’re low priority and just ‘nice to do’ but not necessary, can you delete them from your to do list? Think about it in relation to your wiser version of yourself. Does doing this align with what’s really most important to you? Based on the version of you that you’re growing into? Now, what can be removed? Be gentle with yourself. Giving up something that gives you meaning can feel conflicting. There’s no need for tough love here.
3. Go out into a wide open space. Getting out into a field, the beach or even a parking lot can help feel less overwhelm. Or, go to the roof of a building and look up at the sky. If this isn’t possible, go inside a building with a very high ceiling like an auditorium.
If even starting to do any of these steps is challenging then start by saying this, ‘I am a worthy person and I am worth having my needs met. ‘
You’re more than a fertility machine and you’re more than all the to-do lists. You are worth having your needs met. If you need more support book a call with me.