What to know about stress and fertility

Stress. We all have bouts of it. In fact, we need some stress to survive. Then there’s the point it’s too much and it interferes with our lives and our fertility health. I know from experience.

I’m talking about that panic you get suddenly or constantly — it’s that fear you’ll never get pregnant, stay pregnant or have a healthy baby. I’ve had it. It’s uncomfortable, unhelpful and can be debilitating. If you are experiencing that, let me remind you of this.

There is no definitive research that proves stress causes miscarriage or infertility.

It’s not as simple as stress (cause) has that effect (no baby). Think of all the women who get pregnant during war or other devastating circumstances. There aren’t more miscarriages among those populations.

What is more known is that prolonged stress can affect your overall health and overall health does impact your fertility. Several studies have hinted at this. Therefore, reducing your stress may have some benefits to your fertility. There might be a connection.

What we do know is that keeping stress down is ideal throughout pregnancy. Higher cortisol levels that are released by pregnant women do affect the baby and her own health, but not to the point where you would inevitably miscarry. Depending on the severity of the stress, however, it can affect the woman’s health and the health of the future baby farther along, such as developmental delays, pregnancy complications later in pregnancy, genetic defects, maternal infection, premature birth of the baby, or preeclampsia.

This isn’t meant to scare you. It’s just an important consideration depending on how stressed you are now, because if you can find ways to keep stress down, you might be improving your fertility health and chances of a healthier pregnancy.

Also, you’re worth getting more well regardless of the research.

Personally, while I was trying to conceive and going through infertility treatment I noticed stress was causing brain fog and me to not think clearly and that was potentially interfering with what I needed to do to stay on top of my overall health and infertility treatment. I knew I needed to confront my feelings. The grief from losing what you thought your fertility story would be, and/or the grief over pregnancy or infant loss isn’t something to ignore.

I started by seeing a Counsellor who was a great fit and then started seeing a Coach about my fertility stress. Then, I started to use stress reduction tools that worked for me. I transformed. I stopped feeling as panicked about my infertility. The skies parted, the sun came out (figuratively, because I live in rainy Vancouver). I started to feel more and more hopeful. I was able to make clear decisions that aligned with my values and needs and I started to take back some control.

But what I need and what you need may be different. It’s so personal.

1. Get started on lowering stress

First, I urge you to talk to a counsellor or psychologist or other mental health professional when you are overwhelmed with dark thoughts. It’s common with infertility and loss and it might be the best decision for you. I saw a counsellor and I am proud of myself for getting the help I needed. I see at as a badge of strength.

2. Options to lower stress

Second, reflect on what you’ve liked doing so far that lowers your stress. Notice what about doing it that makes you feel calmer or energized or more like you. It’s easier to keep habits that lower stress if you actually enjoy doing them and when they complement with what’s important to you.

For me, making art lowers my stress. It taps into the me who is an artist, allows me to do something meditative and with my hands, and makes me feel alive. Another example is gardening, which gets me outside and provides instant gratification; look, no more weeds!

Other than having a baby, what other parts of your life are important to you?

What makes you feel like the real you when you do it?

What makes you feel more alive and lit up?

In addition to these reflections, here are some ideas to lower your stress.

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• Get moving. Physical exercise, regardless of whether you’re new to being active or not, has endless health benefits including for your fertility health. Even walking 30 minutes a day is proven to be effective for women’s overall health and lowering stress.
• Get out in nature. Even some doctors ‘prescribe‘ it as treatment for stress. The research indicates you need to get outdoors for a minimum of 20 minutes.
• Work on a project that requires a repetitive motion with your hands. Try a project that’s meditative like knitting, sewing, drawing or colouring; Happy Color is an option.
• Set a frequent alarm to remind yourself to be present. Take a pause. Check in with yourself. Perhaps it’s every hour or 30 minutes or 3 hours, or with your fertility vitamins or medication or before meals.
• Have a predictable schedule and stick to it. This preserves your energy because it can be mentally taxing to think about what you’re doing on a daily basis if it constantly changes. Sticking to a routine is great for your mental health.
• Do yoga. Any type will do, depending on your physical needs for your overall health (for example, not during follicle stimulation for IVF or egg freezing). There’s even a lot of fertility yoga out there such as Breath with Lauren and Yoga Mamas.
• Meditate on your own, in a group and/or using a guided meditation like Mindful IVF or Headspace apps. Neflix has Headspace videos now too.
• Prayer, if you have faith and that feels calming and right for you.
• Try breathwork – Calm Breathing by Anxiety Canada or some deep breathing techniques.
• Get a good night sleep and/or take a nap. A good night’s sleep for fertility health and reducing stress goes a long way. Being fatigued makes it easier for stress to slip in and overrun your decision making and emotions.
• Eat sensibly. Notice how what you eat effects your mood and stress level. Keep a journal for a week and note any patterns.
• Talk it out. Talking with the right person or people can make you feel less stressed about your fertility worries. Consider talking to members of a support group, Facebook group, fertility clinic group or with a Fertility Coach.
• Try visualizations with a Coach to bring down stress. This is a must for me.
• Laugh. It’s proven to reduce stress. Tips here.

For deeper ways to get at the root of darker feelings — such as trauma, clinical depression and anxiety and other pathological issues — to pair with stress reduction on a daily basis, consider these types. These are just examples of many.

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It’s a type of psychotherapy that’s focussed on what’s occurring now and not in the past and is used for a range of mental health issues.
• Hypnotherapy. It’s appealing to some people to do with a trained Hypnotherapist and also on your own at home once you’ve got the hang of it.
• Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR). There’s growing awareness about this new area for assisting with trauma and deep issues in your past.

If you want more personal support on what’s right for you, book a confidential free call with me.