I said this countless times to myself when I was trying to conceive.
‘Why can’t I relax???’
Because it seemed like everything was a stress-maker. I felt like The Incredible Hulk, out of control of my feelings. Even when my fertility doctor told me good news, I couldn’t relax. I would think about ways this cycle wouldn’t work, how we’ll have a life without children and I won’t fulfill my role as mom.
It’s like the whole world was created to make me worry.
Do you find it hard to relax?
It can be extremely hard to relax when you’re trying to conceive and infertile.
Well, I’m happy to share that I eventually did find ways to relax. It was thanks to my own fabulous coaches and taking the tools and applying them to my fertility needs.
Try this. Don’t relax.
No I haven’t gone insane. Hear me out.
Going through infertility is stressful. It just is. You want a baby so badly and you wanted it like how most people have babies and you want treatment to be more simple and predictable and less painful and faster.
And part of that stress is from pain that doesn’t need to be pushed away. So don’t relax if you’re in a safe space to feel your feelings.
Now don’t get me wrong, everyone needs a stress break. Absolutely. But sometimes you also need to embrace the worry to actually relax and ultimately to be well.
There’s more to the technique so read on!
Here’s what you do next.
- Find a quiet place and 10 minutes of time to be by yourself. Sit and close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Then another. And another.
- Then really feel your stress or worry. Really feel them.
- Where in your body do you feel that worry? In your throat? Shoulders? Jaw?
- Then with zero judgement about what you find out, explore those feelings.
- What are the exact reasons you’re worried? Pin point it so specifically. Say it out loud if you like. Take your time.
- Then once you’ve gotten to know that worry take a big, deep breath. And another. Then thank yourself for being so brave.
Did you try that? How was that for you?
It’s usually hard to do on your own if this kind of exercise is new to you. This one I outlined is generic and not tailored to your unique self and fertility journey. But I really hope you can do it and that you feel the release of what it is to confront these intense feelings.
There are some more steps after this but this gets you started.
I also wish I could show you other techniques to find a new way of making your fertility plans that is right for YOU, and for you to feel more mentally well and prepared on your fertility journey.
Keep Calm and Worry On!
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